After having done some research on Scandanavians and how they raise their children, I came away feeling even more ashamed of our country (U.S.) and how we treat children in general. Scandanavia is renowned for having the best quality of life in the world. They live with almost no crime, have a great social welfare system, and men, women and children are all on equal ground. Scandanavians do not believe in mistreating children and if children are mistreated, they have their own Ombudsman that they can go to for help. I would say that though Scandanavia is not a Utopia, it comes close to being a section of the world that truly reflects the nature of God.
We, on the other hand, are a punitive and vengeful country that feeds off of punishment, fear and hate and we instill this in children by killing their souls early on. May God give us wisdom and give us the opportunity to repent and change for the better.

Again, beautifully written.

My views on this subject have changed a ton since having kids and really getting into child-rearing philosophies. I used to think, sure, occasionally a spanking is the only thing that will “work” for some kids, and it’s no big deal.

Now I guess I would still say that is true IF you are operating from the assumption that children will only “be good” or do what you ask if they are either bribed or threatened. That’s a pretty sad view of children, and human nature in general, but if that’s the belief you subscribe to, and the method you use for raising your kids, then surely, surely there will be some kids, many probably, for whom the only thing that will get them to do what you say is the fear of actual physical pain administered by the person they love the most in the whole world . . .

Right* . . .but even that, for some kids (myself as a child included!) simply won’t work. And then what are you left with?

Oh, one thing I don’t think you mentioned, and maybe it’s because it’s not referenced this way in the Bible, but for any other LDS readers, the Book of Mormon speaks of the Rod as the Word of God. So, if “he who spares the rod” spoils or hates his child, that makes a little more sense. Withholding the scriptures and other manifestations of God’s words could indeed spoil a child!

Wow, well, I guess I’m too chicken to write about this on my own blog, but I had no problem spouting off on yours! Sorry!

*(Sorry to get a little dramatic there; I realize that’s not at all how many of the “spanking out of love” parents view what they do, but I’m trying to look at it from the child’s perspective.)

As Bekah, or pretty much anyone, reads Proverbs 3:6, they instinctively “get” the idea that “path” here is a metaphor for how one lives one’s life. This also serves to highlight the idea that no one approaches the Bible as a blank slate: the Bible is never an uninterpreted book, for anyone.

Most people also instinctively understand that when Psalm 119 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet,” that is a metaphor for the spiritual illumination the scriptures give to our lives. Understanding this metaphorically does not mean one is not “taking the Bible literally”: it simply means one is being sensitive to the type of literature the Psalms are (again, poetry) and interpreting within the conventions of that literary genre. In fact, to interpret a piece of poetry as if it were a newspaper article would do violence to the author’s intent.

So the real question is, how does one know, in poetic or wisdom literature, what is a figure of speech and what is not? Sometimes it’s obvious, as in the case of the “lamp to the feet”. In other cases, such as the “rod” in these verses, it’s open to interpretation.

It’s long been a bone of contention with me and my husband that the rod proverbs are interpreted as commands, especially within the reformed community. Many folk who would never normally engage with Ezzo or the Pearl’s, but instead favour Tedd Tripps popular ‘Shepherding a Child’s heart’, the author states clearly on page 130 that “God has commanded the use of the rod in discipline and correction of children”

Like you, I don’t see any mandate in scripture for interpreting the book of Proverbs as a book of commands. I really resent the implication that we’re sinnning as parents if we don’t use this method.

Thank you again for this!

Sheena

I am glad you have found a peace in your stand. I think it is important for Christians to pray for God’s wisdom in these areas. It is in this confidence that we can make decisions for our family and convey it to others when they ask.

I believe that as Christians, we each have to pray for God to reveal the truth of His Word to us. I also believe there IS a solid TRUTH about child rearing and discipline in God’s Word. In pursuit of this belief, my husband and I have spent much time in prayer – asking the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth of His Word to us in this arena, as well as others.

We did not lean heavily on what other men have spoken, but rather what we believe the inerrant word of God says. As sinners, we realize we may have it wrong, but God knows we have sought Him on this issue and are peaceful in our decisions.

We are not in agreement with you, but I believe if you are tying heartstrings with your children, guiding them along their paths, and being consistent, nearly any method of discipline may work. I’ve seen many different methods of discipline work across many different families; I wouldn’t for a second say any one of them are right or wrong.

We are to be balanced in all things. If I knew someone was hitting a child because they were too lazy to find other means, I would try to release that child from his/her parents. If I knew a parent was not disciplining in any fashion and their child was growing up without consistent direction and flapping around challenging authority at every turn, I would want to release them from their parents as well. There is a middle ground – a balance – the balance I believe God would have us to draw in our relationships throughout our lives.

There is only ONE TRUTH that I know cannot be argued, and feel God’s Words is clear about both in the OT and NT – and that is, Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the Messiah, the Savior, and the only way to the Father.

We may not agree, but I respect you reasoning, as well as your desire to seek out the truth.

Blessings