Where, oh, where has my little blog gone?

Where, oh, where can it be?

I have so much to write about and so much to share. I have to hold off on certain things right now because I can not chance that someone will tell my children what they are getting for Christmas from me (shhh, the quilts). I want to post pics and tell you all about them, but I have learned that there are still some children that read my blog and discuss it with my children. Now I have not written anything I am ashamed of, but this is not a place for children. And by children I do included you teenagers in that categorical definition. Some one(s), and I am not naming names, has/have already spoiled some gift giving to one of my children and that broke my heart. It really did. I was also quite surprised when my child told me about it and it ruined the surprise for my child too. Sad really. But it just goes to show my sarcastic, surly, and cynical outlook of trusting others isn’t too misguided. Trust. See, I don’t usually. So if I have never said it point blank enough let it be now, loud and clear:

To: Children, Teenagers (especially to those we know)

From: the SmockLady

Date: Past, Present, and Future (but written today this 19th day of December, 2007)

Subject: my blog, the SmockLady

It is not meant for your eyes. Sorry, but that is just the way it is. It’s not that I don’t trust you, but hey! some of you spilled the beans. Think of it this way: if I have a party in which I invite your parents then it is your parents I have invited. Children and teenagers are not yet adults.

Respectfully,
the SmockLady

To: Parents of children, teenagers (especially those we know)

From: the SmockLady

Date: Past, Present, and Future (but written this day the 19th day of December, 2007)

Subject: my blog, the SmockLady, and your children

It is up to you to decide if your children are allowed to read what they see on my blog or not. I have held back on many things that I want to write about and discuss with others, because of who may stumble upon my blog. I will not be holding back on that anymore. How shall I explain? There won’t be subject matter that is considered private, or “adult” in nature, but if I decide to write about a relationship and all that it entails then you may want to ban your children from my blog. There are just some subjects that are not meant for younger people. That subject matter may or may not be good for your children. If you decide to let your children continue reading, then have a nice little conversation with them about keeping their mouth shut about what they read, specifically if I have blogged about a gift or surprise or maybe even a struggle going on in our house. Those things are not up for discussion with my children by your children.

Respectfully,
the SmockLady

This is rather hard for me to explain. I don’t believe my blog to be R rated and I certainly don’t plan on making it R rated, but some things are still considered “meant for adults”. See, one of the things I like about homeschooling and other family oriented activities is the way children of all ages interact with each other and with adults. I like being able to talk to teenagers and younger children in a manner that isn’t child-like. I don’t “baby talk” to my babies, but I talk normal. And they learn just as well to communicate this way, if not better. As much as I enjoy being able to communicate with children/teens in an adult manner, I also have a healthy view of when the conversation does not need to involve them.

There was a time when our children were only a few and very little and we had to be careful of what we said because of the possibility of it getting repeated. No, we didn’t say words that should not be said, but sometimes children say things way out of context and then it gets mixed up. So care must be taken. There is that small window in a young child’s life in which the adults around the child don’t have to worry about what they say. Then as our children got older we had to be much more careful about all kinds of things they watched, listened to, went. Then they start to read too. And we are driving along on a trip to NC and we pass a billboard going from GA to SC that is advertising for an adult shop with cheap back rooms and the child says to us from the backseat, “Mama, what kind of toys do you like to buy?” All innocent enough when we take a deep breath and realize that our child is probably picturing me playing with a doll (OK, not a good example) or riding on a giant adult sized Big Wheel or maybe playing with Legos. Whatever it is, it is not what is advertised, but it really doesn’t matter, because that’s one more step in growing up and losing innocence because one day that child will understand. And without protection from Mom and Dad, that could happen sooner than later.

Then there is the day that we are sitting around with friends having a fairly deep conversation about some issues close at hand with a friend who left his job because of his lifestyle. Nothing wrong was said. No names or making fun of any one has taken place, but our friends were shaken and need to speak about it to work through it. But because they are much younger than us and their children are so very young and they are not worried about what they are saying they also do not think about the other ears that are not so far away and then we had to cut the conversation off and they are not understanding why. They don’t get the signs and signals we have given to either change the conversation or use some adult conversation code. Those ears are older ears, but are still innocent ears. Those ears don’t need the exposure just yet. And we certainly don’t want to have to answer questions those ears are going to want to know answers to.

Even now, when I am having a conversation with SmockDaddy, even if it is about planning a trip to Grandma and GrandDaddy’s for Christmas, the conversation does not need to be had behind closed doors or in secret. But it is still a conversation between SmockDaddy and me, not SmockDaddy, the children, and me. There are times, too, when a conversation needs to be kept private, between the ones in the conversation. What about surprise Birthday parties or trips as gifts for Christmas. This goes for a blog post, too. A post should be between the between the blogger and the reader/commenter. Yes, I know this blog is “out there on the Internets for anyone to read.” But if you can’t keep your mouth shut about what my children are getting for Christmas, then don’t come back and read.

I realize that may sound harsh, but I don’t know how else to put it.