Up for air
It is 10.32p according to my computer clock as I start this. I am just now coming up for air from my day. And my day is only about 3/4 over. I still have two more loads of laundry to do before tomorrow arrives. I still need to clean the kitchen from the supper mess; we had soup, so it is not too big of a mess. SmockDaddy is out of town so today’s witching hour (hours) were way more than witching today and I lost it. Twice. Between the ripping off of the faucet covers outside to make mud pies, mud patties, and mud-bathes right as I was setting the table for dinner and the argumentative, yelling, screaming confusion of Princerella not understanding why her Papa left for a few days made for my stressed short fuse to be even shorter. I hate it when I behave the way I behaved tonight. I apologized to the two I offended and we moved on, but I still lost it. I am the mother, the adult. Tonight at the table, Birdie said so sadly, “Everything is so out of balance when Papa is out of town.” She hit the proverbial nail on the head. And it does not help matters that I am stressed about why he is gone and what he has to do tomorrow. I just hope that by not begging out of this situation he isn’t committing ecclesiastical suicide. He did not really have much choice in the matter though. I think though when it is all said and done, there is going to be some egg on certain faces and those faces will not be from around here. (Another day, another post, maybe on my hubby’s blog.)
When Princerella behaves like that I seriously do not know what to do. No one believes she has it in her. It is so obvious that there are some special needs in her not getting met. Since we had to cut out her PT and OT things have gotten so much worse. She really does not know how to process certain things and her responses have grown to sheer aggravation on her part. The other children do what they can, but they don’t know what to do either. They all eventually try to find an escape (their beds or outside); I hurt for them, too. Tonight, after numerous attempts to calm her down and talk to her, I thought I was going to have to call someone for help. But I did not know who to call. I did not know what to do. I sent her to her room. I followed her, sat on her bed with her and held her in a very tight hold (like a great big hug) while she calmed down. I put her back to my chest, pulled her knees up, wrapped her arms around her legs with mine and held her firmly until she was calm and breathing slowly. This seemed to work as she settled down almost immediately. We relaxed and her screaming and tension returned almost as fast as it left her. So we did it again. And it had a lasting affect that time.
I wish I knew how to prevent the need to have to do that. I wish I knew what to do before hand. There are no warnings signs that I can find - it just happens. I know what kinds of things cause this to happen: a busy day that makes her tired, too many changes in her routine, too much stimulation in a compact period of time. The problem is that her response level is not consistent. She can not tell me what is wrong; I mean she can’t verbalize the feelings.
She came home with this worksheet today from school. I can NOT express enough to you, Internets, how big of a deal this is!
It was just about three weeks ago I posted this picture of her and explained how she needs help stabilizing her hand. She knows how to spell tons of words. She knows the entire alphabet. She knows the sounds they make and combinations of sounds and she sounds out stories to us everyday. We have a box of letter tiles that she uses to spell for me daily. But writing is a major physical challenge for her. It taxes her brain and her body like running a marathon does a runner. When she was younger, around 4 (for those who do not know, she is 6 now), when we would ask her something that was hard for her to tell us verbally, she would shut down. Literally, we would watch her eyes start to roll around and her lids get heavy and her whole body would just go limp and she’d fall over if the work was so taxing on her brain. Her little system just got so taxed with getting the information from her precious brain to whatever part of her body was supposed to receive the information. It is in there. that sweet head of hers in so full of information and thoughts and stories and observations, she just struggles to get it out.
This piece of paper, it brings tears to my eyes. It’s like watching a paraplegic get out of a wheelchair. For any of our other children this would be a standard praising event, “I am so proud of you.” “You did so well.” “I can’t wait to show Papa when he gets home.” But this, it brings tears to my eyes and makes me want to throw a party. This is major for her. And this one worksheet amongst all the others she did at school could be the very thing that put her over the edge today. It may have been the very thing that taxed her little body to the point of overload. But she did it. She did it on her own.
30 Tiny Moments: 18/30
Being a single parent, even just temporarily, is so tough. There isn’t anyone to just give you 5 mnutes. Hang in there.
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Wow! I am impressed at the good work your little girl is doing! Will pray for ya’ll during this time of need.
That’s an awesome worksheet! It’s wonderful that she doesn’t give up. I see so many older students, without any developmental delays, who shut down almost like that when they just think something is going to be hard. She keeps trying. Yea Princerella!
How precious for Princerella! So sorry things are so hard!
Wooot! She did a great job on those letters G! Some days, I wish I was still small enough for someone to wrap me tightly in their arms and hold me until I feel better.
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