Too Much Information

but not the kind of which you are thinking.

Tonight after the routine baptism by soap and scrub, one little boy with just a few years under his belt was stalling as hard as he could to get dressed. Boys! Especially four year old boys!

After the drying off and tickling phase and the quick pinch of the cheeks (the back end ones) as they ran away down the hall to avoid more pinches one particular fellow thought maybe he could get away without getting dressed. The logic is as follows:

• If I don’t put on my underpants then I don’t have to get on my pajamas
• If I don’t put on my pajamas then I don’t have to go to bed
• If I don’t have to go to bed then I get to stay up as late as I want.

Negative!

Here we go (conversation while four year old and 23 month old run around in circles nekked¹ in the kitchen:
CowBoy, go put on your pajamas right now.

But I don’t have any underpants in my drawer.

Yes, you do. Go put them on.

But I can’t find them. I looked in my very bottomest drawer and they were not there.

Did you look in any other drawers?

No. Because that is where they are.

Then I suggest you go put some on. Now. And then put on your pajamas.

But that is what I don’t want to do because then I have to go to bed. And you put on underpants first, then pajamas, then go to bed. So I don’t want to put on my underpants.

Well, then don’t. Just go put on your pajamas.

[CowBoy stops dead in his tracks and stares at me. He walks to his room and comes back with a pair of sweatpants. He has decided that he wants to sleep in the sweat pants.]

I can’t put these on without underpants.

Yes, you can. You don’t have to wear underpants under your pajamas.

His eyes get large. Then with disgust and disdain for my constant win with each passing volley he says
These are NOT pajamas, they are sweatpants.

I snap my finger, point to his room (I am such a mom), he disappears and returns fully dressed for bed, shoulders dragging the ground.

But this exchange reminded SmockDaddy and I of a similar exchange about eight years ago with a then three year old Goro.

Many moons ago when Goro was potty training (2.5 years of age) he went through a very strong phase of not wanting anything around his waist. He wouldn’t wear shorts or pants; it was either those button-shoulder John-John styled shortalls or overalls or nothing (while at home). I could get him to wear underpants, but eh didn’t want two things on his waist. I made him tons of those shortalls and put snaps in the crotch so he could just reach down and rip the snaps open and go the bathroom without the need to undo the shoulders; this gave him much independence.

Anyway, one night I had not washed his sleepers he liked so much and I needed him to wear a set of pajamas that wear a pair of pants and shirt. Which meant he wasn’t going to also want to wear his underwear. He was bargaining for underpants, but no pajama pants. I was nixing this because it was a fairly cold evening and he always kicked his covers off.

So I said, “Well, you can just wear the pajama pants and not wear the underpants.” This was met with a look of disgust and apprehension. I reassured him by telling him that some men and boys didn’t wear underpants under their pajama pants. I also said, “Papa doesn’t wear any underpants under his pajamas. So you can be like Papa.”

His head drew back and he wrinkled his brow hard and said, “How do you know?”

Obviously, too much information.

Tagged as: spawnings