Comments on: Pass the epidural

By: hollie

hollie — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:35:14 +0000

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. The pain never completely goes away but would you really want it too? Five years have passed and I still think of my sweet baby. Hard as it may be, I don’t want to ever forget. My prayers are with you.

By: Sheena

Sheena — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 20:06:39 +0000

I'm so sorry to hear your news, I will be praying for you Sheenas last blog post..In Columbus

By: thefrazzledmama

thefrazzledmama — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 09:56:01 +0000

I will continue to pray for you and your precious family!

By: Amanda

Amanda — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 00:56:53 +0000

Oh honey, I’m so sad for you. Six children or no, a loss is heartbreaking. I hope you do write it down — every single bit of it — because looking back on it will be helpful. You’ll want to remember every bit of the good and bad (at least, I did) because it somehow makes the lost baby that much more real.

I commend you for miscarrying at home. It is not easy. I miscarried my first and fourth loss at home, had a D&C for my second loss only because I was hemmoraging and lost consciousness. My third “loss” was different because I was right at 23 weeks. He was born alive and died later because of his extreme prematurity.

As for finding stuff on the internet about miscarrying at home, there is an excellent forum at http://www.mothering.com. It’s the Pregnancy and Birth Loss thread here:(http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=22). There are so many helpful women there who have been or are currently in your shoes, and I’ve found all aspects of the thread there very, very helpful throughout my experiences.

Thinking of and praying for you.

Amandas last blog post..When Poor Self-Esteem Isn’t Enough…

By: Thanks

Thanks — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 23:53:06 +0000

[...] what’s been going on around here, either because I’ve told you privately or you read this post yesterday. This morning, I checked my e-mail and there was a message from one of you. Not a [...]

By: Karen (Pediascribe)

Karen (Pediascribe) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:48:27 +0000

I'm so far behind in blog reading and today I decided to sit down and at least read a few on my reader. I'm sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine your heartache. (((hugs))) Karen (Pediascribe)s last blog post..SOMETHING JUST ISN’T RIGHT

By: Kay

Kay — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 18:33:15 +0000

So sorry this happened to you. I know this child was very much wanted. I pray that God will give you comfort.

By: Ashley

Ashley — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 14:48:18 +0000

Oh, SmockLady… You have been in my prayers and I will continue to lift you up in them. I am so very saddened by your loss. Much love.

By: WonderGirl

WonderGirl — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 14:40:52 +0000

I’m so sorry, Smocklady. Really, truly grieving for you, because, I too, know the loss you’re experiencing. One of the thoughts that haunted me in the days and weeks following were, “Why, God, why even let me be pregnant? I don’t understand why you would give me the joy of new life, and then take it away so arbitrarily.” It was not exactly the highlight of my faithful walk. I was angry, alone– because as much as my husband loves me (as yours does), he still felt it differently. The people around me who loved me were sympathetic, but often gave words that I found trite and little. The only people who really reached me were the other women who had experienced it– who knew where I was, and could tell me, that yes, you will heal. It doesn’t feel like it right now, but you will, and it will be okay again.

I won’t pretend that I have all the answers, or that my answers fit your situation– but I do know that God worked me away from that pain, that anger. It seems endless now, and hard as that is, SmockLady, just let it be what it needs to be. Don’t try to force yourself to “get over it” or “look forward to the next pregnancy”– or whatever. Don’t feel that because you have many other blessings, that you are somehow not supposed to feel this loss all the way to your marrow. Give this the time, the acknowledgement, the tears, it needs. You are grieving because you understand accutely what it is you have lost. And right now, you may not know how to move on– you may not be able envision taking a step away from this, but you don’t have to. God will do it for you, in His time. Now, I KNOW that sounds trite, but there’s no other way to say it. I think it’s like falling asleep in the car when you’re a kid. You couldn’t rouse yourself if you tried, but somehow, you wake up in your own bed. Somebody bigger, stronger, one who knows your needs and meets them because you can’t– that person picked you up and carried you, as you slept. Somehow, you are moved from grief, to joy, without your feet ever touching the ground.

One more thing. I can honestly say now, to God be the glory for that dark time in my life. It helped me understand Him so much better, it changed things in me that I couldn’t even begin to fit into this already (too) long comment. The first moment I knew things were different, were several months later when God placed a woman in my life who needed to talk and cry and lean on an understanding shoulder. I couldn’t have done that before. And I saw that there WAS a purpose, that God had not abandoned me or punished me. That even in my pain, He was continually working His good and perfect will, and I could always trust that. He restored my spirit, and my body, but not at the same time. Wounds of the heart take longer to heal.

Anyway, that’s just my story. Yours will be different. Forgive my long comment, I just wanted you to know you’re not alone. I’ll be praying for you, thinking of you, and hugging you mentally in the days to come. Anything more I can do would be a blessing to me, so let me know.

WonderGirls last blog post..This is For Dad

By: MK

MK — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 14:35:26 +0000

I don't know what to say, but I'm still praying for you and your family. MKs last blog post..It's been a long time...