Harry’s Birth

For some readers this should be categorized under TMI, but it’s Bairno’s birth as it happened for me. If you don’t want to read it that’s fine.
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After weeks of prodromal labor I was exhausted. His due date came and went (11.21.06). Thanksgiving came and went. Friday night the 24th I was almost in tears from exhaustion. I was willing to drive back to Hattiesburg to see my old doctor to get things rolling. Out of desperation SmockDaddy encouraged me to drink a bottle of ale we had in the refrigerator. We had no wine in the house and we figured it would either give me some rest or relax me enough to start things up. I drank half of it (about 4 ounces) wishing it was wine, as wine relaxes me greatly. I went to bed around 10:00p and prayed that he would arrive soon.

Saturday morning I was awakened at 8.44 by a little voice, but a loud one screaming, “I need my mama, Poppy! Get me out!” CowBoy wanted out of his bed to snuggle with me. We chuckled and the next thing I knew I was grabbing my lower belly because of a stronger contraction than I had yet experienced. I told SmockDaddy and CowBoy that maybe some doughnuts would jump start the labor. So off SmockDaddy went to the local doughnut shop to buy me a chocolate covered doughnut. Yummy. While he was gone I emptied the dishwasher, loaded it and started it. Cleaned the counters and swept the floor (I had gone to be the night before without doing these things). By the time he got back I had been up long enough to time the contractions and they were a solid 5 minutes apart, but not very painful at all. I ate my doughnuts and decided I would like a hot shower, needed one anyway, and see if they slowed, stopped, or kept right on going. While I was in the shower I had three more contractions, but without a clock I couldn’t tell if they were any faster or slower, but they weren’t anymore uncomfortable. I got out and started to get dressed.

WHOA, NELLY! A big one’s a comin’. I thought I would stretch out on my bed, on my left side, and breathe through it. That was a definite no go. That made it hurt worse. I stood next to my bed, leaned over it and stretched out my back trying to get comfortable, but couldn’t. I knew this was it for sure now. It was now about 10:30a and time to make a few calls. I called the midwife to tell her this was it and if it wasn’t I was going to find some morphine somewhere because I wasn’t going to do that for three more weeks. Yes, it was a joke! I called our friend to come over and be with the other children so we didn’t have to worry about them during the labor and delivery. Another contraction put me a little over the top for standing around or finding a comfortable position to work through it. I decided to get into the bath tub. I filled it with rather warm water and just sank back, knowing full well at that moment that I would not be getting out of the tub. Something I had not planned. Actually, I had planned against. I knew I would want to labor in the relaxing atmosphere of the warm water, but all along the thought of giving birth in the water and then sitting in “placenta soup” kind of grossed me out. But once I was in I knew that is how my little one would be born and nothing else mattered. I was trying to wait on the midwife to get there so I could get in her nice cozy La Bassine tub for greater comfort and relaxation, but things were moving too fast for that I could tell.

I had no idea of the time or how far apart my contractions were or much of what was going on outside of me. I was breathing through my contractions, leaning forward slightly with each on as lying back was very uncomfortable on my lower back and tail bone. With each contraction I would reach up and grab the wall bar and pull myself slightly to the right against the wall for the coolness on my head. I was sweating buckets and the cold wall felt good against my head. I knew things were progressing quickly when I had one particular contraction that I didn’t think would end. SmockDaddy was running around getting things ready, keeping the children in the den and quiet, basically keeping himself busy because he couldn’t do anything for me at that point and he needed to do something.

We were still waiting for the arrival of the three at this point. The midwife and friend both live just over an hour away and the midwife apprentice lives about 35 minutes away in the other direction. The Midwife Apprentice got here first. Right about the time I had another really strong contraction the midwife apprentice arrived. She immediately began getting things ready and laid out for the baby; she could tell I was getting close. she listened to the baby and he sounded so beautiful I started to cry. It was wonderful to hear that heart beat while I working so hard. There was no reason to think that anything was wrong it was just a great moment of release for me. She called the midwife to let her know she was there, my stats and the baby’s. The next contraction was a big one and I felt slightly nauseated and wanted a cold wet rag on my neck. But it was hard for me to talk and ask for it. At this point I was very unaware of what was going on around me. I was very much within myself. It’s that place that has no definition, a place that I think only other women who have been there before can understand. It’s a place where time seems to stand still and deep within is all there is - myself and my body (my baby) and instinct. I knew from the nausea that I must be past transition. I had been there five other times and I knew it well. I really wanted to know how far along I was, but that really didn’t matter anymore. The next contraction had me on edge; I lost control a bit and allowed myself to get scared. I don’t know why, I just didn’t keep my thoughts on what needed to happen. Each contraction had been painful but I was able to breathe through them keeping control and allowing my body to work as it should. Being afraid of the pain is what makes the pain worse. When I allowed myself to feel the pain and get scared I tensed up and it hurt even more. The pain of all the contractions was very low and deep, pushing hard on my bladder and feeling like a knife was being jabbed into my bladder - it was sharp, and cold, and slow - a stabbing pain.

With that one contraction that seemed longer and bigger than the others I surprisingly said, “I can’t do this anymore.” I knew I could though. I knew I had done it before; why was I giving in like that? The Midwife Apprentice reminded me that only meant it was all working and reminded me to keep breathing through it. She helped me get back in control of myself and relax. The next contraction was different and I knew it was almost over. I realized that the last contraction was the one that put us (my baby and me) where we needed to be. I realized I had just felt his head slip past my bladder and that the contractions didn’t hurt the same anymore. I no longer felt pain in my lower abdomen or my back. I hurt in a different way - almost beyond pain to the point that it wasn’t painful anymore at all. And it wasn’t painful; it was pressure, but a pressure that I couldn’t wait for it to end.

With the next contraction I found myself instinctively responding to each movement the baby made. I began breathing, blowing slowly through the pressure as I had been doing with all the other contractions, but that wasn’t working anymore. Things had changed. I couldn’t work with my body that way. I found myself moaning - low, deep, and almost guttural - mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I continued to reach up for the wall bar with each contractions so that I sort of floated through the water while I moaned through it all. After about three of these deep contractions I just folded myself in half. I didn’t know why I was doing that but it seemed to be the thing I needed to do. The baby needed it so I did it. I felt him slide further down and into my pelvic bones. It was a very strange sensation; I wasn’t pushing him out just down. I folded at the upper part of my abdomen and at my shoulders; it seemed very reflexive and responsive to the contraction. The next contraction was the same way and that time my water broke with the contraction. At this point our friend and the Midwife had still not arrived. I think the Midwife Apprentice was getting a little nervous, but she was fine. She kept calling the Midwife to give her progress and let her know I was going to start pushing soon. Little did she realize I would start pushing with the next contraction. At that point our friend arrived to help with the children and SmockDaddy came to be with me too.

It was amazing. To be in the water like that gave me such an incredible ability to relax in a way I had never been able to do with child birth before. And it was all happening so fast. The Midwife Apprentice asked me if I wanted her to warm up the water and of course I said yes. That was so awesome. That warm water felt so good. While the bath got warmer she also took a cup that I had been using before she got there and poured the warmer water over my belly. That really helped me relax even more. I started really pushing with the next contraction; I could feel his head leaving my cervix. That was strange. SmockDaddy sat beside me on the floor of the bathroom and his timing was perfect. With each contraction I was finding it harder and harder to reach up and grab the bar as I was wanting to do. I wasn’t getting weaker, just deeper and deeper into what I was feeling and as I relaxed more with each contraction I found I couldn’t use the rest of my body as easily. I needed to depend on him to help me hold the position of comfort. I quit grabbing for the bar (I think) and just kept asking him to hold me slightly upright. Being back against the wall of the tub was not comfortable at all anymore and my arms were getting tired of holding from slipping down on the hard tub bottom. I know his arms were getting exhausted, but I needed him. somewhere just before this the Midwife arrived, but I don’t know when. With each contraction I could feel the baby move further down. I know at some point I asked them if they could see his head because I could feel it. I also remember wanting to reach down to see if I could feel it. I held back from doing this a few times because I remember getting my hand slapped with our first one when I tried to do that. the pain had shifted again from the pressure to pressure and a burning sting right in front of my vaginal opening - I thought I was going to rip upward. I gave in to instinct and grabbed the tissues surrounding my baby’s head and applied counter-pressure and all of a sudden it quit hurting and burning. I knew again what to do, I just had to do it. We are designed to know what to do and we need to do it. Within the next few contractions there was a little baby head poking through.

At this point I fully expected to push his shoulders right out and deliver a baby. But I couldn’t push anymore. I got a wee bit scared. Why was I not feeling any more contractions? Why did I not feel like pushing? What was happening? Was I going to have another contraction at all? At some point I think I asked them to help him out. They assured me the rest of him would be along very soon and not to worry. But this was strange. Why was there not another contraction to help me push him out? I was worried about shoulder dystocia and him getting stuck and being so big. Then he began to wriggle just a bit and I knew again what to do - push. Out popped his shoulders and the rest of the most beautiful baby in the world! Guess what? His shoulders never even had time to rotate and there never was another real contraction that helped us out. The Midwife put him on my chest and I sat there in shock at what had just happened and how quickly it had all happened and the ultimate ease with which it had just happened. My baby was no longer inside me but on my chest, calm, quiet, looking around, beautiful, healthy, big, and fat.

It was 1:06pm. The entire labor and delivery process was just over four hours long. wow! In just moments he was wanting to nurse and he latched on beautifully! He nursed while we waited for the cord to quit pulsing. The cord quit and the nursing encouraged the post-partum contractions to deliver the placenta, then he was handed to his Papa for the cord cutting. I felt good and he was healthy. They helped me out of the bath tub and into my bed. At that point all the vitals were being taken and we learned that little Bairno was a whopping 9 pounds and 22 3/4 inches long. Everything was so perfect.

Bairno’s Birth, Part II - the Aftermath

Tagged as: baby, Bairno, birth, birth story, Pregnancy, TMI