For a few years now, we have had a hard time sitting together at dinner. Not because we are busy and not all here at once (although that does happen some days). But because we have had a small table meant for four people. Which was all well and good when we got married. We didn’t have much money and we couldn’t afford what we really wanted. We used a used table for a while that was held together very carefully with some extra boards screwed in underneath, but the table was particle board and the screws did not really stay in very well. So we just threw it out. It was only two of us anyway. We could eat on TV trays or in our laps (you know, in front of the TV). And then when we had Mog, it still didn’t matter for a while because she didn’t sit up to eat for months anyway. Then when she did, she was in a highchair. We did have a table but it was not very usable so we just didn’t -use it that is. Then Goro came along and we moved and that not-so-great-table was not moving with us. If we had tried to move it, it would not have made it. So we scrounged what little money we had and went looking for a table. We bought what we could afford - a table with white legs, and a natural top. We couldn’t afford to buy the matching chairs, so we used the hand-me-down chairs from SmockDaddy’s grandmother’s set from when his mother was growing up. Old chairs. Get the picture. Let me help you picture them: the color, green. These chairs have layers and layers of paint that is chipping heavily away. I can count at least five colors and you know what the green color is more than 25 years old. Can we say lead paint? We start the stripping process and quickly learn that was a stupid idea. Do you know how hard it is to strip at least six layers of paint from chairs? Six layers of paint that is not all the same kind? Some layers were oil based, some were not. This makes for some very interesting stripping mess - no stripping process seems to work on these chairs.
We gave up. One chair was mostly stripped then hand sanded some of the way - it just wasn’t worth it to finish them we thought. We decided we would just save towards getting other chairs (new or used) the next year. You know what? That never happened. It is the standard for our house and income, when you have something that works, why replace it when we have other things of which to take care. So over the (almost) fourteen years we have had these chairs, we’ve gone down from six to three. The other three have finally gone to the great old/broken/worn out chair place in the sky. We still have the almost white one and two mostly green ones. We’ve hammered and nailed these three together so many times it is sad. We also have three folding chairs and one chair from a garage sale that matched our table. We saw four of these chairs and bought them all for like $30.00. Within a week we realized that we had been taken; they had glued the chairs together so they looked good for the garage sale. I sat in one and it broke. A child sat in one and it broke. A different, small child sat in one and it broke. We have one left of this set.
Fast forward a few years to present day.
There is a great couple in our church that we love dearly. Dearly! This couple wanted to do something really special for us and make us a table. So he asked us if we would allow him to do this for us. A table we could all sit at. Together. As a family. A table big enough for us to eat a meal together and all be sitting. So they did. A big beautiful MAPLE table! The craftmanship is awesome. Pictures do not do this table justice. There is no way they could. It fits all eight of us around it and we can put food in the middle for a family meal instead of having to fix plates from the stove and take them to the table. And no one has to stand while eating or take turns eating, because we can all fit around it. Have I mentioned this table is big? And beautiful?
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They surprised us with the finished table last Wednesday (Halloween night, as I was passing out candy even). I was surprised on so many levels. I was having a particularly bad day to begin with. I was excited to see the table. We would finally be able to sit together. But I didn’t show it well enough. I needed to move furniture around to get it in. I needed to get rid of some furniture to get it in. I needed to do quite a few things before it could be brought in and that was not what I could do right then. I was also surprised because I was going to the store the next day to order the finish I wanted for the table and it was here, and finished. My bad day and my surprise and need for all I had to do got the better of me and I didn’t respond properly. I hurt their feelings by showing my pleasure with the table. I was fighting so hard not to cry about the bad day and the added stress that I thought I did really well with it all. But I did not. I hurt my friends and I love this table and I love these people. I burst their bubble and their excitement. I ruined their moment of giving to a friend. I know how nice it is to give something to a friend that I made special for them and I ruined that moment and that love for/from them. Because what matters is that they made us something special and we can sit together as a family.
Today we got the table moved in and it is set. I have a table cloth on it and place mats on it. We will see how long I keep that up. I love the look of a nicely set table, but the reality of keeping a table cloth clean and neat with eight children in the house - do I need to say more? Anyway, I should turn the table setting into BaTaSeMo (Bankson Table Setting Month, a 30 day challenge of keeping the table set).
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My dear friends deserved better than I showed. I reacted instead of responded and I am ashamed. Please forgive me. We are truly blessed to have friends like these. They are few and far between.
p.s.
I did not stress enough about the work they put into this table. They made this table. They ordered the legs and pieced the top together. I would love to refer you to their blog where he writes about it, but he doesn’t update his blog anymore. *sigh, hint, hint, wink, wink*
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s gorgeous! What wonderful friends. I’m pretty sure that friends like that won’t hold your reaction against you for too long. Don’t stress.
And I think BaTaSeMo is a great idea! lol
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Beautiful table!! Friends understand and forgive. It will be okay.
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Hurt feelings? Don’t sweat it. Stress happens. And FYI for others, surprising friends with a huge and very heavy piece of furniture is not always a good thing. It only adds stress.
But after I read the “Material World” post, I was initially VERY worried that the look wasn’t what you wanted. We were trying so hard to finish the table that we did not wait for your input… the way we should have. The work we did for your family was because we love you all very much. But just like you are worried about not getting Iain’s quilt right (out of love for him), I thought we might have done all this work and completely missed the mark. You don’t know how happy we are to hear that you like it, even if it is just a little bit ;) And if you want, we’d be happy to stain or paint chairs however you’d like. But we no do no stripping. It’s right up there with applying veneer. shiver
By the way, “eight children”? Are there two surprises you’re not telling us? Are you counting Topper and Betsy? Or are you just counting the Rev and yourself?
Ann - It is beautiful! BaTaSeMo day one is over.
Cathy - Yes, I know.
Chuck - I said eight children? I’ll find it and fix it. I’d love that 7th, but I think Bairno did me in. We like it more than a little bit. And the post the other day, was really a draft I pulled out of the folder for NaBloPoMo (after posted I was worried you would think it was about the table, but it wasn’t). I’ve been having a hard time getting rid of things that are around here because they were gifts or other reasons. The straw that broke the camel’s back of “I gotta get rid of this stuff” was a present from a family member and I just didn’t like it and it looks nothing like I would ever want in my house. but it is gone now and more is going out the door each day this week. Stay tuned . . .
The table is beautiful and I love the tablecloth and placemats. It looks awesome in your home! I love your floors btw.
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I was on the verge of hopping in the truck and hauling over my extra table when you let slip about the handmade treasure. What a great gift! Wonderful friends you have there. I have some of the same issues. The table we have had for ten years now is finally giving up. We are down to three chairs, six foot three college boys are murder on old chairs. I cannot seem to find ones I like. As for your lovely table, benches would be right up your alley. They would be easy for you and the Rev to make. Four legs and a pre-sawed piece of lumber from Lowe’s or HD would give you enough seating for all the kids. Then you could just work on finding two armchairs. Will you resend me your #, I losted the piece of paper I wrote it on. Imagine that. I would love to see your whole family sitting around your new dining table at Thanksgiving. Pray for us, as we will be living in a hotel room in Tupelo for TG.
Nicole - thank you. I am on the prowl for some more table cloth/napkin sets so I can always have one clean. I am looking for some things in the rich reds and copper colors. I am trying to add in some olive green, the golden, and a hint of dark, muted, smoky blue (kind of hard to describe the blue.)
Holley - benches? Not on your life (or mine). I would probably kill some children at the first meal we had using those for all the fussing: “He bumped me.” “She’s sitting too close.” “He keeps sliding over and bothering me.” I would end up putting each child in a corner on the floor to eat by him/herself so I could eat in peace. Hey, that’s not a bad idea. heehee.
So gorgeous! What awesome friends! And apparently they didn’t take it too hard! :)
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We did make benches for our former pastor (we made them a huge table too; it can be partially seen in a photo posted on 12/30/06 on http://steelfamily.blogspot.com/). Those benches are where we learned to hate iron-on veneer.
Benches can be practical, but they aren’t always the best thing. Small children (and even adults!) have a hard time getting out from the middle.
Lovely friends and lovely table! I know exactly how thrilled you are to seat your whole family at the same time. That is truly a blessing!!