the two little boys and I were headed to the veterinarian with Topper to get his staples out from his FHO and to pick up Skipper (he didn’t make it - a post for later). I’ve backed out of my driveway, straightened the car and started driving down the road. I get to the corner and turn to make sure it’s safe to turn. It’s a two way stop, but not for me; I have the right of way. No other cars are visible at this time of the morning and I make my turn. Bairno starts to cry and I give a quick turn to rub his head in his car seat and let him know it’s OK; I had awakened him from his nap to load him in the car for Topper’s appointment. As I make the quick glance in my rear view mirror to see if it’s OK to stop for just a moment (you know, no other cars around) I almost jumped out of my skin, peed in my pants, and ran into the ditch at what I saw hanging only inches from my face.
A spider. Not just a spider, but a huge, massive spider whose body was at least two inches in size. OH. MY. FREAKIN’. HEART! I think my heart truly skipped a beat because it actually hurt for a moment and I lost my breath. See I really don’t like spiders. I mean I really. don’t. like. spiders. I don’t have a very healthy view of spiders. I try, I really do. I get nightmares from spiders. I used to kill any spider I saw ever, anywhere, but now I just stick to killing spiders that are in my realm and I leave them alone if they are in theirs, unless it has a red mark on it’s belly and is black and is walking across my hand. Yeppers, those ones I kill - happily. And yes, that happened - when I was pregnant with number three and I did pee in my pants that day and almost went into labor. So why my healthy or unhealthy view of spiders? I grew up on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. I attended a church directly across the street form the port that was the port of the Gulf, Gulfport harbor, where aaaaaalll the bananas come in. Dole, Dole, Dole, Chiquita, Chiquita, Chiquita on almost every single 18-wheeler across the street. And one day, or night as it was, our youth group had a lock in (one of many) at our church and we were playing a game of Sardines and I was IT. I had the most bestest hiding place ever. EVER. E V E R. And I had been waiting a good 20 minutes for someone to find me and I felt this eerie little tickle on the back of my neck and when I reached to scratch it I found a rather large spider had landed on me. Whew, my breathing is a bit crazy now as I type this story. I freaked out a bit and screamed so incredible loud that I think everyone in the church thought I had been attacked by a strange man with a knife or something or maybe I found a dead body. I screamed like a girl and danced a jig I didn’t know I could dance. That spider was huge; it’s body was a good two inches but the legs, the legs were about four or five inches long, maybe more. Often large spiders dwell in the banana bunches that get brought in. I know they get sprayed and treated, but not every one dies. (I know they say it’s a myth, urban legend, whatever! and who knows where that one came from. I don’t really care, it was there and it was large) And this one was said to have come in on the boats; others had been spotted too. This is not a fish story. No, it was not a tarantula, just large and eight legged.
So that’s just one of my spider stories. Back to the car spider now. I say this (I still get goosebumps at what my head saw):
CowBoy starts yelling, “give me my spider, give me my spider.” Why is he asking for that spider. He is so not getting a spider. Well, I caught my breath, kept the car on the road, and squeezed my kegels tight and realized that a certain nine year old had just played a rather successful prank on his mother. This is what it really was:
The mind can play crazy tricks on us when it’s thoughts are already predisposed even if it is a stupid plastic toy. I’ll get him back, just wait.
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That is so funny! Remind me to congratulate that certain nine year old.
Ohh…I’m afraid of snakes. With a pond in our backyard they can be a little common in the warmer months. I nearly stepped on a five foot water moc after Seth was born, the only reason I didn’t was because I saw an outline of its triangular head along the edge of the water (it was dusk, and I was wearing sandels). I don’t go by the water nearly as often now.
If your bunch hid that spider to frighten you, then they did a great job! Mine just put towels on their heads and pretend to be banshees. And then they tell me to
“act scared.”
Nine year olds can be brutal. I think my oldest was only 8 when he switched out the salt and sugar. I had a feeling the sugar had been messed with because I had caught a glimpse of his notebook, so I had honey in my tea. Then dinner time came and I added some salt to my veggies. He got me! It was sugar in the salt shaker! hehe
OH MY!!!!!! HE would be soooo…….I don’t know what! I would scare the livin’ daylights out of that boy!!!! ;^)
Well, I’ve been thinking about how to get back at him, but I fully suspect that I would just be asking for it again. And, well, as you can see, he’s pretty good at that stuff. I may be looking at a lifetime of getting each other back. HA!
ACK! I.Hate.Spiders.Too!
Those tiny black spider rings that the kids seem to get at Halloween time, eh, I nearly scream when I see them late at night in the dark while checking on the sleeping kids.
hmmm sounds like tiny plastic spiders should find their way into his breakfast cereal!
The thing is, that wouldn’t phase him at all. but maybe one of those fake ice cubes with a bug, a real small bug in it would do the trick. I’ll be thinking on that one.
That thing looks real. No wonder you were frightened for a second.