Assuming the worst

I am always amazed at how people, at least those who speak up, tend to assume the worst and jump on it. It is a concept I do not get. I have had numerous emails about the post I published on Sunday. Oh, my mercy! As a bit of a disclaimer I should say that not every single email I got was of a negative nature. I realize that maybe I should have waited one more day to hit publish as I had some fever and I could have edited and worded a few things better or clearer than I did.

I didn’t want to write about each and every thing I’ve been thinking through in that post. I was vague. I was cryptic although not trying to be. People who know me need to chill out a bit and give me some credit. Think about what I have given up in my life for those I love (i.e. my husband and my children); think about how much I have sacrificed and said no to because I love my husband and my children. I am not trying to be high and mighty or put myself on a pedestal; I would just like a little credit for having a brain. Apparently people think I am going to run off on here and start bad mouthing people. That really makes me sad. It makes me sad to think that those around me or who grew up knowing me would think that I would do that.

I am ready to chuck it all in and go where no one will know it is me. While I do not want to lose some many of my online connections I am about to throw the towel in and go away. Why is it that if I want to talk about young earth versus old earth and where I stand that is wrong. Or maybe I want to talk about communion and children and the standards set forth. Why is it that other women in the PCA can write books and Bible studies about various things, but for me to do that even in a blog platform it would be putting my husband and family in jeopardy?

I think maybe my readers (but not all of them) need to actually read what I wrote instead of trying to read between the lines.
I wrote:

In the past when SmockDaddy has interviewed for church jobs before one of the questions that has always been asked of me (and sometimes him for me) is, “What will you be doing for the church?” or “And at what capacity will you be working in the church?” I want to reply with: “If you want me to magically be all these things for you, give me a wand and I will get right on prestidigitating, because mercy me, there are quite a few things I’d like to change in this unchangeable reality.” [emphasis added this time around]

I do not say that. I would never say that. Yes, I think it. It drives me crazy that churches (not all churches) have this attitude. I suspect that the wife of the CEO of AT&T or Apple (I guess you can tell I have an iPhone on my mind) or the Dole Banana Company or the wife of the local pharmacy has ever been asked, “And what will you be doing for (insert company name here)?” As I said that is not my response. I am polite. I make it politely clear that I am a wife and a mother and would be a church member just as anyone else. What I will give to the church is my time as the best wife I can be and the best mother I can be so my husband feels free and less stress from home so that he can be the best husband, father, and pastor that he can be.”

I also made it clear in my last paragraph of that post that most likely need to be reread:

I don’t want to isolate anyone with what I want to write; there is no one I want to write about. I want to write about what is going on in me.

And if I stay here to write about living on this side of the glass walls and how that affects us and just one person or maybe one family or maybe even one congregation is able to look at their pastor, his wife, their children, and their lives with new eyes, opened with compassion and empathy for the stress and isolation with which they live then I will be glad for what I decide to share.

Disclaimer: this church where we are now never once asked me what I “could do for this church.” See, they are awesome like that. (edited to make more clear)