A love-hate conundrum
December 3, 2009 by SmockLady
Filed under DPP09, Life, Photography
Read 238 times
My hair and I have a love/hate relationship. Really. I am not a vain person. I could be, easily. I am not a high maintenance wife. I could be, and love it. I could thoroughly enjoy a day at a spa with a manicure (I’ve had two for those before) and a pedicure (I’ve never had one of those) and I could thoroughly go for a facial and a scalp massage. I do almost anything for a deep tissue back massage (or even a full body one).
[hang on a sec, I need to sip some of my hot cocoa.]
I like makeup. I like playing with colors and seasons and what brings out my natural shades and what doesn’t. I don’t like to look all made up and obvious, but if I don’t wear some makeup one would notice the growing spots near my left temple where my skin is bleaching out. It’s not as noticeable since I started wearing 1,000+spf sun screen. I figure it be easier to die from all those chemicals than it would to get skin cancer.
See makeup is expensive. Going to the salon to get my hair cut is expensive. I guess in reality it’s all relative to one’s income and budget. I mean I seriously doubt that Paris Hilton or Ivanka Trump even give a second thought to buying makeup or getting their hair did. colon uppercase d
By the time we assigned the cash to the basic needs we had nothing left for anything else. We do not have the money for allowances. We don’t have cable. We don’t go out to the movies, but maybe once a year (and that’s not regular). SmockDaddy and the boys gave up the cheapo barber shop cuts and I cut their hair. I gave up make buying makeup and getting my hair cut. We don’t have credit cards, although we do still have some old debts and lots of medical debts (we will always have those). There are times when we get to do something extra. There are times when the electric bill is lower than expected or something else works out and we can squeeze in something fun. Now, we used to put every single penny into all the needs giving up every moment of family fun we could find. I know there are fun things we do as a family that are free. One of the things we learned we didn’t want to do without was loose a certain amount of “pocket” money that stays in my wallet for things like that pack of gum or those Icees when we are out running errands.
Over the past few months I’ve been pinching pennies to pay an artist to do some work for my sewing business for which I’ve not yet been able to do a “Grand Opening.” (He did that really fun banner for my review blog too. Brian is a wonderful artist and a great guy to work with. He was incredibly patient with me as I tried to be a good client from whom he wouldn’t dread getting an email.) *waves at Brian*
Well, that was really big squirrel, sorry.
Back to my hair. I have a lot of it.
I haven’t gotten in professionally cut since February/March of this year. Growing my hair out is a bit of a dream. I want long, flowing, gorgeous hair. The truth is: it ain’t gonna happen. Why, you ask? That’s the love-hate conundrum about which I started to write this post. *ugh* I have dreams of doing all kinds of wonderful things with my hair like putting it up in a bun, or a French twist, or just some fru fru do. I’ve got the hair for it. I have lots of hair. Thick hair. I have more hair per square inch than 99% of the population AND each strand is majorly thick. I have enough hair for me and at least three other people and I would miss what I shared with those three people! My hair is soft and silky, but it’s thick and frizzy (when long, it’s obvious). All this hair makes me crazy. When it’s the length of my chin it takes me forty-five minutes to dry it most of the way. I am not that patient. And that 45 minutes is without actually fixing my hair after drying it. Part of my dream is to have long hair as an ‘old’ lady. I thought maybe this would be a good time to start growing it out seeing as my hair grows very, very slowly. Being forty years old it might be long by the time I got old.
But sassy, short, even spiky is me. I like to take my showers early in the morning to help me get moving and awake. I like a wash and go do. But to keep my hair the way I like it means I have to get it cut at least once a month, but better yet once every three weeks. At $35.00 a pop that is way over budget. At the least that’s $420 a year up to $595 a year. NOT in the budget! The problem with growing hair out is that it needs to be trimmed and shaped as it grows so that it doesn’t look all crappy.
I’ve been trimming mine up a bit as it grew. Trimming the nasty stuff off my neck as it grew out. Trimming the uneven growth to match the normal stuff as it grew out. I hate when my hair is in my face! When I’m working (sewing, sketching patterns, etc.) my hair is always in my eyes and I end up putting headbands in my hair to keep it out of my face. This has gotten old. It needs to be shaped. It needs to be helped. If it is going to stay it needs to be long enough to do something with to keep it out of my face. Since none of those things are happening I’ve become increasingly unhappy from day to day.
I don’t know why so much of me is wrapped up in my hair. I mean I don’t think of myself as vain. I’m not beautiful. I don’t think I’m ugly, but I don’t see myself as a woman that would make any man turn his head. SmockDaddy is just in a trance. I slip a little potion in his coffee each morning to keep him close at hand. It’s really that voodoo I do do so well! semicolon close parenthesis
When my hair is happy, I am happy. Weird? Yeah, it is. My hair can make or break my day, my attitude. I don’t mean it has to be all fixed and perfect for it it to be right. I fight the stereotypical person so many think I am or should be. I am a pastor’s wife. We have a large family. We home school. Do you have an image or “type” in mind already? Sure you do. I want a larger vehicle because legs are growing rapidly and the Suburban is beginning to cause some fights with who sits where. Do you know what the next size vehicle would be for us? A 12 passenger van. Seriously! One more thing to add to our stereotypical aggravation. I like my jeans. I hate denim jumpers. I like my yoga pants and T-shirts. I hate large collars (with or without bows). My girls don’t always wears dresses or skirts. We read Harry Potter and other fantasy books. I could go on, but I won’t.
Having crappy looking hair just wasn’t cutting it anymore. I’ve been desperate for a month now. I haven’t put on make up even on Sundays because I didn’t want to look in the mirror. When I did, I cried. I spent most of this morning in tears over my hair. I decided to bite the bullet and do a major cut myself. It’s not the best thing in the world and there was a small problem with a cowlick. And a little shaping mishap in the back that I think we “fixed” good enough. SmockDaddy cleaned up the back edges and the fuzzy on my neck when I was done. HE has been most supportive of my first attempt at the gut wrenching process of such a massive undertaking. I think as time goes on I’ll gain more confidence and be able to handle all the little idiosyncrasies of my hair. Only one person has ever been able to really do my hair right anyway and that’s because he really listened to me knowing I really do know my hair best. He used to tell me: “I have a love/hate relationship with your hair! I don’t like your hair because it is so character challenging – it has a mind of it’s own!” Lawdy, I miss Earnest so much for so many reasons!
Without further ado here’s my new do
and in one week it will be close to perfect.
It’s amazing how much younger I think I look and better I feel about myself when my hair is short and sassy.
To see the spider on my head, go here.
I think its cute. You look great with short hair. Take it from someone who has let her hair grow out (midway down my back now, long hair is over-rated. It is always in my eyes, my nose, my mouth, my coffee…
Oh My Gosh Holley! I’ve never seen your hair that long; not much past your shoulders. Hair in your coffee, uh uh. Whack it off! ;)
I SERIOUSLY love it!! I think it’s fantastic!! I know how you feel, though. I only get mine cut MAYBE a couple of times a year, and it’s usually something MAJOR. I like to walk out feeling sassy, but i refuse to pay so much for a GOOD haircut and won’t spend a few for a crappy one, so it has to be something I can shape up and maintain on my own the rest of the time.
heather´s last blog ..Uneasy
PS- are you KIDDING me? I think you are BEAUTIFUL! Always have!
heather´s last blog ..Uneasy
I’m going to delurk here to say that I absolutely L.O.V.E your hair. Not everyone can wear short hair successfully but it suits you perfectly.
Linda Stewart´s last blog ..I’m Thankful For
It looks great! I am really impressed that you can cut your own hair and that your husband was nice enough to help you.